The Madame greatly
appreciates all the positive feedback and genuine goodwill she has received from
the public. Here are her thoughts on common questions asked of her art in the
last few months.
What if I have more than one movement a
day?
The Mistress suggests you pick the first reading of the day for
your reading and the best results.
Can the food you eat the previous day alter your
prediction and ultimately your future? (ie. Chili and
beer?)
Mistress Cohleana believes that just like your fate, your
fecal prediction can be changed by the individuals life decisions. Nothing is
written in stone.
Does smell have any bearing or
validity?
Since odour is so subjective, it is generally not used in
FFT (fecal fortune telling). However, the mistress generally feels that the
stronger the odour, the more specific your prediction will be. (or that you
should keep better anal hygiene)
My toilet paper hides/obstructs my view. What do I
do?
Relax and do not panic. The mistress suggests you keep a pail or
container beside the bowl and discard the soiled paper there until after you
have taken a reading.
note: do note forget to flush the paper after, especially if you have
pets!
What does corn (and/or peanuts) in my poop
mean?
It means you ate corn and/or peanuts stupid!
If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask!
(Unfortunately you'll have to hold your questions...but don't hold the poop!†)